Thursday, March 24, 2005

Beware!

If I asked you what the most dangerous animal in the ocean was, what would you answer? The shark, maybe. They're basically living killing machines, so I could see that. The killer whale? You might have an argument there. The tuna? You might be surprised. But you would be wrong: it's the merwolf.

A merwolf is obviously the result of a mermaid being bitten by a werewolf, creating a half-man half-wolf half-fish abomination that lives only to swim, kill and occasionally duet with faux-Caribbean crabs. Not much is known about these legendary creatures, and I got to wondering about what they are like.

If they are swimming deep under the waves, and it's a full moon out, how would they know? I can't imagine you could see very well down there. Might they miss the full moon? I'll bet that would be embarrassing, their friend's would never let them hear the end of that.

How could you kill a merwolf? Silver bullets wouldn't be too effective, seeing as a bullet loses almost all its energy in the first 6 feet of water (I don't know how I knew that fact without looking it up... or fact checking it). I'd imagine you would need some kind of silver harpoon. I bet Ahab would cream himself if he ever got his hands on one those. Right before he got mauled to death by a merwolf, that is. Ahab couldn't beat a white whale. In fact, since it's albino it means the whale had a genetic defect, which probably means it was mentally handicapped too. A man who can not out think a retarded whale stands no chance of defeating a merwolf.

I wonder how the merwolf would breath underwater? Wolves don't have gills, they're mammals, and a wolf with a blow hole would simply be far too lame. But then again, mermaids don't have gills either. Wait a minute, how the hell do mermaids breathe underwater...

...I think I just blew my own mind.

-Hawaii out

1 Comments:

Blogger Empyreal said...

I imagine merwolves would sense the full moon with the changing of the tide. Since they have some mermaid aspects, I would think their lunar music would be quite alluring.

Merwolves would probably breathe like manatees, seals, or otters, surfacing on occasion.

All this reminds me of Melusine.

7:58 PM, March 26, 2005  

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