Monday, July 21, 2003

i hate the French

So now the French government is banning English words like "e-mail" that they feel are infringing on their native French language. Stupid goddamn French people, their government really needs to be finding better things to do than banning English words and surrendering to the Germans. The 7-year old commission (this commission has been around for SEVEN YEARS!) has decided they are replacing it with the French word "courriel" in all official documents, which Americans will quickly file under "Who Gives a Crap". Seriously though, do the French really need a group of guys who's sole job is to act indignant towards Americans? Isn't that every Frenchman? Not that I mean to stereotype, but every single French person is snotty, rude, indignant towards Americans, loves Jerry Lewis, has a horrible culinary taste and bathes far too infrequently.

It's now settled; to spite the French I am no longer using any assimilated French words. The following are changes to English vocabulary:
· a "rendezvous" is now a "meeting"
· a "garage" is now a "carhole"
· "hors d'oeuvres" will be "pre-foods"
· the "ballet" is "pretty toe-dancing"
· "restaurants" are now "food shacks"
· "to promenade" is now "to mosey" or "to amble"
· "to surrender" will be "to France out"
· a "buffet" is a "gluttony-barn"

Sometimes I think I'm being too hard on the French. But then I remember that for every sexy French maid, there are 100 stupid French mimes.

-Matt out

2 Comments:

Anonymous nike lamerik said...

hi. I fuck les putins d' americains and les rosebeafs d'anglais. VIVE LA FRANCE, VIVE ONCLE BEN (laden)

11:11 AM, January 02, 2008  
Blogger le francais said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:12 AM, January 02, 2008  

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